Jahresrückblick 2021

It's the last day of 2021. As usual, time flies and I still can't believe we will start in the new year. 2021 was not as expected. It was not bad, but not perfect either. I had many great moments, but also many bad ones. My reading year was inconsistent, too. So let's look back at the past 364 days.

I want to start with my reading year. I always use Goodreads to track my reading and set my year's goal. Last year I was really disappointed with my reading year. So many people on Instagram read over 100 books a year, and I only read 16. So my goal in 2021 was to read at least 25 books. Covid didn't let me go back to London until April, so I stayed in Germany and spent almost all my time reading books. The result: I read 31 books this year! Honestly, I'm still surprised how I managed to read so many books. I know; I probably read a quarter of what most Bookstagrammers read in a year. But we don't compare ourselves to others. I'm a slow reader, and I have never read so many books in a year, so I'm pleased about that. 

What was the worst book I read this year, and what was my highlight? 

It is straightforward for me to pick the worst book this year. Burning Bridges was one of the worst books I have read in my life. That might sound quite dramatic, but I feel so strongly about this book. If you want to know more about what I disliked, you can read the review on my blog.

It is way more challenging for me to pick the best book this year as there are so many excellent books I read this year. I enjoyed the Soho-Love books, or Malibu Rising by Taylor Jenkins Reid. Kim Jiyoung, Born 1982 has changed the way I view society. It is impossible to pick one highlight, so I will pick two. My first highlight was A Map of Days by Ransom Riggs (I just adore the Miss Peregrine series). My second highlight is Small Pleasures by Clare Chambers. This book has reminded me of my favourite Taylor Jenkins Reid books and was fun to read.

In my wrap-up I don't just want to talk about the books I read. My blog also represents my life, which affects how many books I read. I read most of the books in 2021 in the first six months. I had a lot of time, I was happy. But life is not just rainbows and butterflies. My second year at university started in September, which I really enjoyed. But I chose to go back to my host family (from my au pair year) to work and earn money during my studies. While I don't regret this decision the slightest, it made my life really stressful and me vulnerable. I basically had no time to read, and my monthly wrap-ups from September to December show that.

At the end of November, I fell into a big black hole. I loved too much and let people around me hurt me. Situation in my family, but also situations with friends, made me extremely miserable. I started questioning myself: Am I good enough? How could someone even like me? Why does that always happen to me? I haven't felt this way in a long time, and I had to face not only my extreme abandonment issues but also my dark thoughts. Life made no sense anymore. And even now, as I'm writing this, I still struggle a lot. There is always this voice in my head saying that I'm not good enough. I overthink everything people I love do. Most of the time I feel like a burden and a failure. It is difficult to heal, when I feel like I can't talk to anyone about what is affecting me so much. Instead, I just keep it to myself (not the best idea to be honest). 

My struggles obviously affected my reading habit. I was too exhausted to reach for a book, or I could simply not concentrate. So instead, I chose Netflix and YouTube over books. It is hard to get out of this hole and start living again. I have good days, but most of my days are rough. But I think it is essential to talk about this, admit that I'm not good, and seek help. My goal for next year is to get better and see my worth. 

Let's look at the data. In total, I read 31 books this year, that equals 12.137 pages. That is a significant improvement compared to the 16 books and 6.545 pages last year. I'm pleased about that. Here is a list of all the books I read:

The Raven Boys - Maggie Stiefvater

Outlander - Diana Gabaldon

The Burning Shadow - Jennifer L. Armentrout

Children of Blood and Bone - Tomi Adeyemi

Black Key - Amy Ewig

Throne of Glass - Sarah J. Maas

Castle in the Air - Diana Wynne Jones

A Map of Days - Ransom Riggs

Jane Eyre - Charlotte Bronte

The Brightest Night - Jennifer L. Armentrout

Burning Bridges - Tami Fischer

Hold Still - Nina LaCour

Highland Hope - Charlotte McGregor

Kim Jiyoung, Born 1982 - Cho Nam Joo

The Cruel Prince - Holly Black

What I was - Meg Rosoff

Someone New - Laura Kneidl

Save Me - Mona Kasten

Ravens Gate - Anthony Horowitz

Fly&Forget/Try&Trust/Play&Pretend - Nenea Tramountani

Highland Hope 2 - Charlotte McGregor

Sternengeflimmer - Olivia Grove

Evil Star - Anthony Horowitz

Love on the Main Stage - S.A. Domingo

Das Biest in him - Serena Valentino

Small Pleasures - Clare Chambers

One of Us Is Lying - Karen M. McManus

Five Hundred Miles From You - Jenny Colgan

Malibu Rising - Taylor Jenkins Reid

So what is the goal for next year? Obviously, I really need to focus on my mental health and wellbeing. But despite that, I would like to read 35 books in 2022. I should also focus on reading the books I already own but haven't read.

How were your year and your reading wrap-up? What are your goals for next year? Let me know in the comments. I wish you all a Happy New Year!

xoxo

Maxi